Epiphany

December 23rd, 2009

I had an epiphany of sorts last night.
We were watching Psychic Kids last night and there was a girl on there who was more of an empath and Chip, the psychic who was helping the kids, said somthing along the lines of it’s hard enough being fourteen without going thorugh everyone else’s stuff as well. My mother has always told me that I have always been heavily empathic. However, not until last night did I realize that all that I went through in highschool could possibly have never been bipolar, as was diagnosed, but actually me picking up on everything that everyone else was going through. That would explain why once I graduated it all kind of dissipated. Along with this I realized that when I’m out in the country, in the middle of nowhere, I feel so at peace. I think this maybe because there’s no one for miles and my head and heart can finally breath and exist on it’s own and not be over run by everyone elses’ emotions and issues. Now all I need to do is learn how to recognize what is me and what is the rest of the world, then how to recognize yet seperate from it. On top of that the synthroid has really helped my anxiousness and concentration. When we did our presentations in English, I was able to stand in front of the class and present without shaking. It’s funny how in one semester everything seems to have almost fixed itself. Suddenly, it’s as if I don’t have to wake up anxious anymore. I can leave the house without feeling overwhelmed by the world.

Anyways, today I bake cookies until Ted and Nich call and then we’re going to do Christmas, then tomorrow we go to church then Grandpa’s, on Christmas we go to Kyle for dinner and Saturday night we get on the train and then Sunday afternoon we arrive in New Orleans!!! I am so excited I can’t wait to get there!! Expect lots and lots of pictures!!!

-Rain-


Spring 2010

December 15th, 2009

First off! I got a B in Math!!!!!!!!
I’ve never gotten more than a C in any Math class in my life!!!
I am so happy!!!

Anyways, I signed up for classes for next semester; British Lit II, Lit Criticism, Physical AND Cultural Anthropology (two seperate courses), and Photography II. All are at the main campus down town, except Photography, which means that I’m going to have to drive all the way down town -faint-, luckily Nich and I have matching time slots on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I won’t have to drive down there alone. Speaking of Nich, he slipped into my head the idea of working at Half Price Books part-time, since we’ll be down there so much anyways. The idea makes me nervous but excited at the same time. I’ve always wanted to either be a librarian or work in a small, artsey book store, HOWEVER, taking five courses, two of which are literature courses, as well as working, even if it is just part-time, makes me nervous. Sigh. I barely found time to do all of my homework this semester with ONE lit course and no job. Not to mention that one of the classes was Yoga, a course with little to no homework. Le Sigh. We’ll see where everything ends up.

Right now, I need to finish working on my room.

-Rain-


Wrath of Kahn, the Opera

November 12th, 2009

AHHHHH!!!!!! It’s awesome!!!!!
I love Robot Chicken

-Rain-


YAYYYYYY!!!!!

November 9th, 2009

My new laptop is now safe at home!!!
It is wonderful.
And, at just the right time, too.
My external hard drive is near death.
SO, now I’m moving everything over before it is unusable.

I am so happy!!!
I’ll get pictures up soon.

-Rain-


House of Leaves

August 22nd, 2009

House of Leaves I finally finished House of Leaves and I am a bit relieved and a bit sad at the same time. It was such a wonderful book that I would recommend it to everyone, especially those who adore puzzles and/or Academic stuff.

I actually finished it a few days ago. It wasn’t until today when I couldn’t remember the author’s name and I decided to google it that I decided to tell you all about it. The Wikipedia site is, I feel, the main proof for how great this book is for those who love puzzles, secrets and mysteries. There is so much more to the story rather than just what is laid out before you. Not only that, but it’s also amazing how much this book has inspired people. YouTube is full of videos of people’s interpretations of the book. Such as The Navidson Record (which would be a bit creepy were you to watch it whilst sitting alone in the dark), Houst of Leaves(The Navidson Record)- Trailer (a ‘mock’ trailer for a would be film version of the book) and House of Leaves - Intro (an amazing intro to another would be movie with GREAT typography graphics). Also, The author’s sister (who happens to be Poe) made an entire album based off of the book, one of the singles being Angry Johnny.

It’s very hard to explain it without either giving things away or confusing everyone so much that it scares them out of reading it. What I can say is that it’s griping and compelling. One thing that really hooked me to it was the realism that Danielewski writes with. Every line felt true. There were times when, though I am well aware that it is a fictional story, I started to wonder if Johnny was a real person and what he was doing and how he’s dealing with it all. Hell, I’ve started to wonder if Johnny was lying and Zampanò is a real person and The Navidson Record is a real movie and we all have just been oblivious to it’s existence. I’ve grown so frustrated with books that have a compelling plot line but the writing is so fake that it just ruins everything. What I like to call ‘fan fiction’ writing has taken over a lot of literature and the sad thing is that books with this style of writing are becoming more and more popular, Twilight being a major one. Writing that sounds like it’s the first draft and nothing was really thought through but just jot down in desperation for something to write. The causes being anything from publishers just wanting more money, fast, to authors wanting the same thing, even readers who wouldn’t know inspired writing if it slapped them in the face. This is the reason I can’t stand to read ’serial’ novels or ‘paperback’ novels. The reason I tend to not trust book reviews (I gave up on movie reviews a long time ago and never really read music reviews, so I guess it’s a good thing that I now depend solely on my own intuition and preferences when it comes to entertainment). Danielewski has renewed my hope in good authors who can create not just a story but a world. A world so real that I miss the characters once I have finished the book and find myself wanting to know where they are, what they’re doing and why they’ve left me in silence for so long.

In closing, I found this comment on what the meaning behind chapter 21 might be whilst sifting through YouTube videos;

“Anyway, I kind of have an idea(though it may not be correct). I think that his story is a way of justifying himself for not giving us a ‘good’ ending. It’s a way of telling us that this is reality, that there is no answer to your questions. Ambiguities come and go without answer or reason. Things happen that are unrelated to the big picture, things that ultimately don’t matter, whimsical things.”

I think that sums up the entire book. There is no perfect storybook ending and the entire thing is so anti-Hollywood that it makes every sentence, every word feel that much more real, that much more whimsical and that much more of a love story.

-Rain-